Learn To Worry Less And Reduce Anxiety

I’ve been anxious since I was a child. Probably because I was always busy trying to please other people or because I was worried about what people thought of me. I wanted acceptance like most people do.

I don’t like to stand out in a crowd or be the center of attention (even though I would later go on to do those things in my professional life), and have always been concerned about looking foolish in public.

As I’ve matured I’m less affected by my childhood afflictions but they are still there to some degree. I still worry and I still get anxious and sometimes about the silliest things. Once I let worry inside my head I often can’t do anything else until I’ve resolved the issue.

Of course this is fine if I’m in a position to tackle whatever it is immediately, but sometimes it’s not appropriate to deal with it immediately.

I’ve deferred doing countless important things because I’m paralyzed worrying about another issue.

I allowed worries about my marriage to distract me at work, and I allowed worries at work to distract me at home.

I believe that my continual anxiety over my marriage was the single most damaging influence on my career. I often found that dealing with routine (and often pointless) paperwork in the office seemed totally unimportant while I was mulling over the unhappiness in my marriage.

My failure in these circumstances has often been my inability to see the ‘bigger picture’ or indeed the wider circumstances.

When I look back at some of my anxieties I see that in the end, most of them were unnecessary. Most of my worries have been unfounded too. Sometimes this becomes obvious just five seconds after the event has occurred. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but almost always the act of worrying and feelings of anxiety turn out to be a waste of time and energy.

I’ve been worried and anxious at home lately. I feel under pressure having messed up the finances and budgeting, and this is brought home to me every time I go to the car.

The site of the diminishing tread on both of the back tires reminds me I need to get some new ones. And when I get in and drive, the rattle in the front suspension reminds me that the car needs to be serviced.

Incidentally, these were a couple of the contributing factors present when I had a bad day last week.

I had another reminder about my financial situation just yesterday. I received a letter informing me that one of the bills usually paid automatically from my bank account, hadn’t been paid.

These worries were threatening to derail yet another day so I decided to follow the advice in the book and I took a day off from worrying.

Instead I devoted my time to doing things that would benefit me as far as the big picture is concerned.

My worries weren’t totally forgotten, they occasionally floated to the forefront of my thoughts, but I managed to push them away and achieve a few things. I stopped those nagging thoughts from paralysing me as they have done so many times before.

I recognised that there was nothing I could do about the tires or the suspension, so instead I did something to improve my future circumstances.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere I’m trying to earn some income online, and whilst I’m a long way from financial independence through that endeavour, I’m starting to see the early signs of good potential.

So instead of worrying about something I couldn’t change, I got on with building my future and enjoying the process of doing so. I spent my time writing content for some of the other websites I’ve built in the last two months.

I was amazed that I was able to do this given how much I’ve allowed worrying to dictate my behavior over the years, especially as what I chose to do isn’t certain to pay for even one replacement tyre any time soon.

Of course, I’m still left with the problem of having to buy two new tyres and having my car serviced, but that would have still have been the case whether I spent the day worrying about it, or whether I spent the day sowing seeds for a better future.

I did something positive and constructive and that felt great.

The book covers this subject well (in much greater depth than I’ve done here – I’ve only touched on one aspect) and the results of my day show me that it’s possible to get some control over worry and anxiety.

Ultimately my aim is to eliminate worry and anxiety from my life, except for those times when it’s useful and necessary (but that’s another story).

Thanks for reading,

Andy

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Thank you, Andy

Tagged as: anxious, overcoming anxiety, reduce anxiety, worried, worry and anxiety, worry less