The premise of this site is that I’m using a self help book to transform my life from an unhappy existence, to a life of happiness and fulfillment.
You probably can’t fail to notice that the book is called How to Be Rich and Happy. I guess it’s fairly obvious with the massive banner over on the right hand side. Subtlety is my middle name.
The point of the site is that I share the journey and give you an insight into how the book is working for me.
I wrote recently that even the best self help books in the world are useless if you don’t use them. And by use it, I don’t just mean reading it once and then using it as a coaster for your coffee cup. I’m talking about really putting the book to work and getting the most from it. Most people don’t do that and I think that’s why they fail (and why I’ve failed).
I’ve had a go at trying to figure things out on my own for quite a while now with my own spirited but misguided approach to self development. And whilst I don’t want to run myself down or underestimate my successes in life, I’ve come to realize it will be much easier to make the necessary changes with some help and guidance – hence the use of the book.
It would seem to be a waste of time to have to learn all the lessons myself from scratch when other people have already been there and done that. This pretty much flies in the face of what my internal voice tells me. I mentioned in a post about positive and negative character traits that I like to make my own mistakes. I like to learn things for myself and I don’t like being told what to do or how to do it.
I’m letting go of that for the moment (and maybe forever), because that approach hasn’t got me very far, or a least not as far as I believe my potential will allow.
I’m using this particular book for a number of reasons, one of which is it gives me a structure to work to, like a recipe for success, if you will. Plus I know the life coach author Tim Brownson and where to find him if I run into difficulties. “I know where you live”, he said, with mock menace.
I intend to wring every last drop out of this book, firstly because I feel absolutely compelled to make the breakthrough in my life that I’ve been seeking to make for years. The last 10 years has been pretty miserable and I want to put it behind me and take control of my future.
It’s not that I consider this to be a last ditch attempt, or that won’t try again if I have a setback, it’s more that I don’t want to waste any more time making the same mistakes over and over again. I feel a sense of determination this time that wasn’t there before. I also have a strong belief that this book will work for me if I actually use it!
I feel I’ve retreated into my head for far too long and I want to get on with living, rather than spending countless hours going over and over the same things in my head, searching fruitlessly for the source of my unhappiness and the key to turning my life around.
So, in terms of really using the book, this is what I’ve done:
I’ve read it once through already without doing any of the exercises in there. That was a deliberate choice, because not reading the book all the way through would’ve been too much of a distraction (if that makes any sense at all?).
I read it on the screen the first time but now I’ve actually printed it out. It was a pain to do because I printed only the sheets with writing on, i.e. not the big orange printer ink eating pages with chapter numbers on. There’s probably a way to do this without having to do it manually and if anybody knows, please tell me in case I ever decide to print a book again.
While I was printing it out I got to thinking how dedicated I must be to use a whole black ink cartridge and half a ream of paper!
At this point I was kind of wishing that I could have just bought a hardback copy, but on reflection I’m glad I was actually able to print it.
Taking the time to do this seems to deepen my investment in the process and the more I’m invested the more likely I am to complete it.
Also, I’ve already written all over the book – in the margins, over the text itself and on the back of the page – it feels like a workbook rather than a “precious” proper book with a glossy cover and a spine. I was always taught to respect books and as a result I would never think of writing on a book.
It actually feels good to write directly onto the pages, underlining words or passages that resonate and marking the bits I want to return to. When the pages get unreadable I’ll be able to replace them very easily.
I’m five chapters in now and I’m getting to the exercise about eliciting my values.
I’m pretty excited about this because I think I’ll get some real insight into why I am what I am. As I’ve mentioned previously, I feel pretty conflicted most of the time, and I think this exercise will help to reveal why.
Lack of time (to myself) and lack of personal space have contributed significantly to my unhappiness in the past so I’ve taken to reading the book in the car. I take the printed pages with me in a file every time I go out in the car. Sometimes, I’ll delay my return home by just ten minutes so that I can read and digest the content without the distractions of a busy home life. It actually feels quite rewarding and it’s working out really well.
One of the issues that has caused tension in my marriage is my wife felt I was glued to the computer. She got sick of seeing the back of my head for hours on end. I’ll go into more detail on this some other time, but she had a valid point.
Printing the book and taking it out with me gets me away from the computer and allows me to feel positive on a couple of levels. I get some peace and quiet and I don’t inadvertently annoy my wife. Anyway, more on that another time.
Writing about the experience here on the site is also helping me to invest in the process and helps me to get clarity of thought.
Focusing on this process is also helping me to keep my thoughts positive and encourages me to think about the things I do want from life, much more than what I don’t want.
I’ve started thinking about how I’m doing with the process and what I’m going to do next surprisingly often throughout the day, and I’m also thinking about it just before I fall asleep.
It’s amazing how trivial issues have been forgotten just because I have something more important and interesting to think about.
So that’s how I’m using the book. It’s early days yet, and far too early for me to be evangelizing that this is the best self help book in the world, but I feel pretty proud of what I’ve done so far and I remain confident that I made the right choice in buying the book.
I’ll update how I get on with the “values” exercise but in the meantime if you want to read a sample of the book yourself there’s a link over in the sidebar underneath the giant banner.
Thanks for reading.
Andy
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Thank you, Andy
