Do you have any character traits that you’d like to change? If you do, I’m guessing they’re probably negative character traits. I have a few, but I also have plenty of positive attributes too and I’m going to list some of them here.
Over the years I’ve changed and not necessarily for the better. The events of my life have shaped who I am today and the way I think about who I am. At this moment in time, and for the last few years, I’ve been conscious that I don’t like who or what I’ve become.
Perhaps you understand what I mean, because you feel the same way?
Anyway, I want to push on with putting the contents of How To Be Rich and Happy to use, but before I do, I want to use this exercise to give you an idea of what I’m like, or at least what I think I’m like – other people will doubtless perceive me differently.
And before I do that, you need to know that I’m not an expert on personality traits, I’m just having a go at trying to improve my life.
So as well as letting you see what I’m like, I’m also using this as a chance to get a baseline before I start using the book. Later on I want to be able to measure how much I’ve improved my life and my thinking.
You should also know that this is my first real foray into looking at character traits in over twenty years, and to be honest I could be getting jumbled up and confused through lack of knowledge. But I’m still going to give it a go.
There are some obvious conflicts in what I’ve written below, for instance I’m fairly introverted but I’m also friendly and engaging. I like to mix with other people but I’m solitary by nature. I’m easy-going and tolerant but I have a temper and can be aggressive. I’m not particularly adventurous but I can be quite daring.
I know that in amongst what I’m writing here will be stuff that’s askew. Labels and tags that I’ve made for myself or that other people have given to me, that somehow don’t really fit. Hopefully when I go through the process of using the book, I’ll be able to identify where my perception is different from reality.
Here we go:
- I’m self reliant to a ridiculous extreme. For example, if I had to move a heavy household appliance like a freezer, I’d find a way to do it myself rather than ask anyone for help.
- I learn best through making my own mistakes and I like to make my mistakes in private.
- I don’t like being judged, and I hate being judged wrongly.
- I love to solve problems, not like sudoku or brain training problems, but solutions to everyday problems like how to retrieve car keys from a roadside drain, or how to open a can if the can-opener is broken, or how to remove a smashed light bulb with getting electrocuted.
- I pretend to be thick skinned but I’m extremely sensitive. I’m easily hurt. I cry all too easily for a man, but there’s a good chance you’ll never ever see it.
- I care what people think of me, including strangers – and I’m annoyed that I care what people think of me. I hate for anyone to think ill of me.
- Whilst I care what people think about me, most of the time I don’t really care too much what they think about anything else. I’m happy to let other people hold beliefs, even if I think they’re wrong.
- I don’t like public scenes and I don’t like to draw attention to myself unless I really have to.
- I value my privacy tremendously and I treasure my anonymity.
- I don’t seek fame in any way, and generally speaking I avoid anyone who does.
- If I can’t prove I’m right through words, then I’ll do it through deeds. But only if the end result is worthwhile.
- I’ll avoid making eye contact if I think the reaction might make me angry.
- I don’t like the anticipation of direct conflict and I don’t seek it out. I get nervous and anxious, but once I’m in the thick of it, I quite enjoy it.
- I don’t give up on something if it’s worthwhile and valuable – like my marriage and family.
- I’m extremely focused on those things that interest me to the exclusion of almost everything else. At that point, everything else is frankly a nuisance.
- I can be a little vindictive and I enjoy seeing people get their just rewards.
- When I’m put under pressure, I usually become defensive but on rare occasions I find a massive capacity to achieve and accomplish.
- When I’m under pressure and defensive my ability to think clearly and communicate verbally is significantly reduced.
- When I’m backed into a corner I’ll fight.
- I confess I enjoy the feeling of being angry but not the result.
- In a game of one-upmanship I’m usually prepared to push the boundary further than the other guy.
- I love my wife despite (and because of) all that we’ve been though.
- I love my children with all my heart.
- I’m very loyal. I have a just a few very good friends. As far as I know I haven’t made any enemies.
- I keep secrets very well.
- My home is my sanctuary. If you call without prior notice I won’t be pleased. If you call to sell me something I’ll politely decline a couple of times and if you persist I’ll be rude to you – but I’ll make sure you know you pushed me do it.
- I don’t like using the phone.
- I don’t like opening the mail, it’s usually bad news.
- I display good manners. I’m courteous and polite.
- I’m considerate. If I love you I’ll make you breakfast in bed or rub your tired feet. I’ll put gas in your car so you don’t have to bother. Hell, I might even do those things if I only like you.
- I detest bad manners and get annoyed with surly or inattentive staff in stores or restaurants.
- I can be very difficult to deal with when provoked, but a delight to deal with the rest of the time.
- Often I’ll get angry at other people’s inconsiderate driving. OK, everyone makes mistakes but I’m talking about the jerks who drive like idiots just because they get away with it.
- I used to have patience and tolerance in abundance, not so much now though.
- If I get angry, usually I’ll hide it and hit some inanimate object later. But if I’m just cross, I’ll voice it as a complaint, a whine, or a moan which only succeeds in making me sound miserable.
- I yell at my children much more than I would care to admit – and I don’t want to do it at all.
- I don’t gamble aside from the occasional lottery ticket, I don’t drink much more than a couple of beers a week (if that), I don’t do drugs and I don’t smoke.
- I love to help people. I like to please people.
- I’ve given money to needy strangers.
- I’ll give up my seat on a train for someone else.
- I’m a serial procrastinator (except when I’m doing something that interests me).
- I’m protective of others and I hate bullies.
- I take risks, calculated mostly but sometimes foolhardy.
- I like to be with other people but only on my own terms.
- I don’t like small-talk but I do enjoy deep and meaningful conversations.
- I’m not religious.
- I’m dependable.
- I’m honest.
- I’m funny (when I’m in the mood) and I enjoy coarse or clever humor and a bad pun always makes me laugh.
- I’m very self-critical.
- I’m a perfectionist.
- I’m fair.
- I’m not very forgiving.
- I’m generous.
- I’m shy.
- I do the empathy thing very well.
- I’m creative and inventive.
- I’m careless with money, but not extravagant. I don’t often spend money on myself.
- Friendly.
- Witty.
- Quiet.
- Obstinate.
- I’m sometimes wracked with guilt.
- I want to do what I want to do. I don’t like doing anything I don’t want to do.
- If I’m troubled by something I’m often paralyzed by it.
- I like to control my environment.
- I’m mischievous.
- Devious.
- I’d make a great saboteur.
And finally…
- Most of my life I’ve believed myself to be a good and decent guy despite my faults.
These traits are just some of what I am or what I think I am. As I work through the book I may discover I’m not quite who I think I am – and actually, that might be no bad thing.
Here I’ve tried to identify plenty of things I like about myself and include some of my character traits from a time when I liked the world and I liked myself. Some of them have been buried or suppressed and I’m looking forward to using the structured approach of the book to uncover more of my positive qualities and embark on a voyage of self discovery.
Thanks for reading,
Andy
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Thank you, Andy
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